Everyone has babies, right?

Or, if not *everyone*, a lot of people do. Know what I mean? I mean, everywhere you look, there are babies. And, most of those babies have parents.

So it’s not like I’m in totally unchartered territory here… I mean, even if I was wrong and my family contained the only babies on the planet, this current baby is my third, so you gotta figure that I’ve been down this road before.

If so, how come I never noticed how unbelieviably stupid the whole Insurance game is?

You see, the HR lady at my company started bugging me to complete the forms that tell the Insurance company (I won’t name names, but it rhymes with “Boonited Pelthcare”) that Shifra was born. I say, “No problem, I will complete the form.”

But – of course – there is a problem: the form wants to know what my kid’s Social Security number is. Never mind the fact that Social Security numbers were never meant to be used as Identification tools in the first place, this is stupid all on it’s own because Shifra does not yet have a Social Security card.

Why? *Because it takes 6 blankety-blank weeks for the Social Security Turtles to type it up!* So, I’m stuck, becuase the Insurance company needs the form before the kid is 30 days old, but I can’t complete it until she’s at least 6 weeks old!

So, I call the Social Security Morons and discuss, at length, whether or not it’s possible to fast-track Shifra’s application (which we sent in the day she was born) since I like to follow the rules and I need the number for Insurance purposes. Their answer? “Absolutely not.”

So, I contact the wonderful people at Saint Luke’s Hospital, where Shifra was born, and they supply me with something called a Certification of Birth (or something similar). I give that to the HR lady and she admits that it will probably be good enough for the Insurance Morons.

Later this afternoon she tells me that she called and asked and the Insurance Idiots told her that they don’t really need the Social in the first place? Why then do they ask for it? Good question! (Of course, there is no good answer.)

And, to top it all off, what do you suppose was waiting in today’s mail when I got home tonight? Shifra’s Social Security card, processed over three weeks early!!!

It’s enough to make you crazy.